How many passages do you have to go through till you are in the right path? Days, weeks, months and years pass me by when I ask myself why me, why my family. I realise nothing comes easy, even when it comes easy it wouldn't be the high quality you want it to be. Am just a girl name Princess Olikeze am 17 with no dad but am left with my brother (Prince) and my mum (Favour) who have helped me with every path of my life I wonder what and who i would have been without them in my life.
My mum has been through thick and thin and yet she still has the courage too get up from that problem and keep her head up high no matter the hindrances that stand in her way and for that she is my admirer and my inspiration...though my mum has been through certain thing I still don't know how to help her with various types of situation that she is going through. The only thing I find myself saying "Everything will be all right"when I know deep down it isn't. Unlike my mum I have a negative side towards things and find myself thinking and saying am done with this world, I have tried my best in believing that my day will soon come and yet am still hoping I know good things comes to those that value things and I hope that comes soon. I don't want to loose my mum because she is the only best-friend and mother that I have got left and life wouldn't be the same if I was too lose her, I am tired of the responsibilities but most of all am tired of the pressure I would be left with. I know am not the only person that is exactly going through this situation of having a single parent but i am lucky that I do have a parent which is my mum and I should be thankful because most kids haven't got both parents too look up too or are in foster care due to what has gone on with their life's..I look up to them and hope God guides them because they are strong even with all the pressure and things they still keep tough and keep their head up high.
I am only 17 with college grades to achieve and goals to reach..I want too enjoy every moment I don't want to be sad, thinking about the past but focusing on the future and the good aspect of life. The question I ask myself is when will all this be over? I find myself struggling too live the good life but through all those struggles I find myself falling back on my feet and hitting rock bottom to where I started from. I want something good in my life, I want my life to be calm, quite and peaceful. am not asking for a perfect family or a perfect life am just asking for someone to come and rescue me before its too late, sometimes I find myself thinking if I wasn't born my mum wouldn't be going through all these problems that she is going through, somehow I think everything is all my fault, the bad times and memories that just plays in our heads the daunting pictures and videos that plays from the past... I think I am being punished for the things I have done in the past, am on my knees and I pray to God to forgive me and help my mum, I don't want her too cry, I don't want her too be upset.
All my friends seem to be having fun and enjoying life as it passes by, while I just sit down and hope one day my prayer will be answered the only thing we all find ourselves worrying about at this age and focusing about is our future careers and their goals and then I think too myself will I reach mine? Would I achieve everything I aspire to be? then it all dawns on me that things are getting closer and closer. This is how life really is, we all have different passages in life but then it depends on how we want that passage to be, we can change the outcome of things because its our passage we are the one's going through it, we are the one's that are holding on to the keys, the keys to unleash that person we want to be when we think we couldn't. My passage through life is a bumping road with no one to turn too, with no one to seek help from, I have to realise that without believing in myself I can't possibly imagine myself getting out of this rough rough passage, now I believe in myself because my passage through life has to be straight and clean believing in myself and knowing that no one can stand in my way.
I believe in myself, I believe in the person I want to be, I believe in achieving my goals, I believe that nothing is impossible but possible if I can put my head in it and stay calm and know that the road ahead will always be rough but then its a test that's preparing me for the world that is ahead of me. Am going into that passage am just waiting for the outcome (I AM READY).
